Saturday, 10 November 2012

A Work in Progress

Am I doing Enough?

I ask myself this question at least once a month (ok, probably more).  I go through moments of panic where I feel so overwhelmed with all the "things" I need to be doing with Stella to help her to reach milestones and reach goals that we have set up for her. 

I am not alone in helping her.  She gets developemental aide. This means she has a very lovely woman come by twice a week to "play" with her.  They work on specific exercises to help her to reach the goals that we feel she needs to reach.  For example: standing against a wall, while reaching across her body for a toy. This is to strengthen her core.  A strong core assists with helping her to be able to walk.

Stella has a play group that she attends once a week also.  While there she uses her signs to communicate, interacts with other children and gets to practice her gross and fine motor skills.

And then there's me.  When I'm not busy juggling household chores, homework with Olivia playing with Sophie and spending quality time with each of my girls,  I play/work  with Stella. But I always feel so stretched and I feel like I just don't do enough with her.

I love each of my children individually for who they are.  They each learn differently and have reached milestones at different times.  Yet,there are times that I have to remind myself not to compare.  I'd say I do a really good job of NOT comparing.  But sometimes I fail. 

I am a part of quite a few Facebook groups for parents who have children with Down Syndrome.  Like all parents, we love to post pictures and announcements when our kids acheive big and not so big milestones.  I see pictures of children walking at 22 months, or read on a blog about how their child is 2 and can recognize letters and colours. 

And then I start to feel like I am not doing enough.  Stella  is doing none of those things.  I mean, she is starting to walk, but colours? Letters? Nope and nope.

I start to compare.  I forget all the things that she IS doing. 

At those times it seems as if Stella can read my mind, or perhaps my body language because usually a few days later she does something new as if to say "You are doing enough mommy. I AM learning...on my OWN timeline.  Accept it Mom".

I will learn on MY timeline mommy! Accept it!

She has started picking up more signs, plus putting together 2-3 signs more often!  She has started standing more often and taking steps all on her own with no prompting.

Yesterday she crawled over to me and said "Mmmm" while reaching for me.  Now if that's not the beginning sounds of her saying "Mommy", I don't know what is!!

We are all individuals. Stella is her own person.  I love her as she is, but I am human and I am weak and I break down at times and compare. Compare me to other moms, compare my kids to other kids. 

I am a work in progress too.

Just seeing her in this picture, so cute,  so perfect.  A reminder that I still have a lot of work to do on ME.

1 comment:

  1. I saw your comment on my blog, Life is Beautiful. Our ENT said that some doctors do not go on those numbers, but that anything over 5 episodes an hour is severe in children. I think you said 11. I was told that there are kids who have 30 and that is really bad, so 11 seems kind of high to me too. I would get a second opinion and make sure its a pediatric ENT.